Laughables

Janette (At the SS conference): I can be an Indian, my hair is in a braid.
Corrine: Wha...!?
Janette: It's not that... yeah, sorry

Natalie: I've been in Utah way too long! I was over by the drinks and saw this guy put something into his cup, I said "oh is that warm apple juice?" he looked at me funny and said, "No, it's coffee."

Kiana (Tahiti Practice): We are going to be doing a lot of shaking today, most of it is going to be on the ground.
Random Girl: Like a seizure?

Maranda: You can't opinionate on your own opinion!

Maranda: If I can't see you, I can't hear you.

Cambria: It's addicting... One of the questions was what is the first month of the year.
Becky: I see how that could be addicting.

Talking about A Christmas Carol
Corrine: It's not my favorite, it has way to many variations in it.
Anon: Did you say because there are so many hairy Asians in it?

If they are worth a loathe they are worth a love.

Don't do it! It's ward suicide!

Samantha: (North and South) She bothers me
Corrine: Well she has to keep the movie going...
BreAnna: That's what i'll say next time, i'm sorry I have to keep the movie going. My life's not over yet!

Dr. Oveson: I brought my cowbell today so it could be like i'm calling you in for lunch.

Emily: Awe, you guys made a cute baby! (To Rachel, concerning Jane)

When the BYU guest services person came up to get a count...
Lorraine: 109.5... I don't know, someone out there has to be pregnant.

Concerning Sugar cookies...
Me: It tastes like donut glaze
Brooke: What!?
Me: Donut glaze.
Brooke: Oh, I thought you said toxi waste.

Later that class...
Me: Thumb art is much more fun than leaf art.
Kylie: What!?
Me: Thumb Art
Kylie: Oh, I thought you said bum art!

Student: I just got engaged last night.
Teacher: Have you kissed?

"Dr. Pepper, the nectar of the God's"

Emily: Apparently I have the mind of a fifth grader

Emily: Eat your little cube of food Asia (In social studies)

In sacrament: The sun setting... The sun might explode if some alien race discovered it.
Later on: First we're bombing the sun, now we're bombing the test. It's just an explosive day...

Maranda: Sometimes I wish my mouth was a banjo.

Jackie: What is it they say? 'finders keepers losers weepers'.
Maranda: But in this case it is takers keepers owners weepers.
Corrine: I guess that works too.

Vicki: The meal isn't over when I'm full... It's over when I hate myself!

Megan: I don't drink milk to begin with but that kind of milk makes me feel like I'm drinking a real cow!

-You're not giving me anything to work off of!
-She's giving you answers!

(At the end of Beauty and the Beast)
-Call a medic!
-No there's magic, we don't need one of those.

Megan- I forgot I ate a crayon, and now it is all over my pants!

(Concerning Megan's TV)
Megan: Sweet talk it...
Caitlin: (Soothing voice) Please work.
Lex: If you don't work I'll kill you!
Caitlin: That's not sweet talking it.
Lex: We are now using threats!

Allie: Odd days are my righteous days. I don't eat sweets, I don't bully people, and I don't fornicate.
Krichele: (Shocked) But that would mean that you do those things on an even day.
Allie: Well I don't tend to fornicate but if I were to do so it would be on an even day!

Becca: I hate playgrounds!
Megan: Do you even have a testimony?

Becca: They asked me if he was a good kisser and I gobbled down a thing of water.

Jonathan: Are you leaving me for someone else?
Jessica: Yes, my bed. We have a very close relationship, sometimes we even sleep together!

Jessica: All of my shoes look ridiculous with flats!

Maranda: Go ahead have a plane crash, see if I care!

Allie: Today I was thinking... There are way too many pictures of boys with shirts on.

Lincoln: I actually should get going.
Colleen: Since you live sooo far away, behind the dumpster.

You are either very talented or Mormon.

Tell your music teacher to stop beating on you. I was going to say hitting on you but that would sound weird.

Words stay words until they are acted upon.

I would like to read a quote... from myself

Long story, its a chick flick.

I served in Taiwan and if it is from a tea leaf it is against the law of chastity! I mean word of wisdom (Brian Sabey)

Brianna and Me...
B: I can't handle people who think slowly!
M: Why?
B: Well I just talk to fast for them. I just said something witty on my way to Mary's abode and she didn't get it.
M: What did you say?
B: 'I'm a colossal waster of time' and she just said 'what'
M: *Weird look*
B: Well now that I say it again I guess it is not so witty...

The why of obedience Sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. (Pres. Uchtdorf)

If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates. (Joseph Smith)

Corrine: Mom, Joe is throwing stuff at me... He's also throwing stuff at your piano.
Mom- *gasp* Joe don't throw things at the piano!!

Mary: why...?
Corrine: Why is the sky blue? Why is Samantha's name Samantha? Why is Hannah wearing a blanket?
Hannah: I am wearing more than a blanket, I have clothes on!

Remember, you treat a woman like a person, and then a princess, and then a Greek goddess, and then a person again. -Psych

Josh: Joe can you go get the phone book for me?
Joe: If you have enough strength to move the soda machine you can get the phone book.

Mary: Is this funny? Milk is a product of cows...

Mary:It's almost like you're having thanksgiving early, because there is chicken.

Mary: There are so many twists, just like it said on the box.

Samantha: You should flash him... With your lights of course.

Jordan: Did he kill them while they were alive?

Stephanie: My legs don't want to work. It feels like I'm learning how to walk again...

BreAnna: You could do the same thing in your shower with a leaf blower...

Brittany: I used to drive with my foot out the window... Not on a long drive, just on the way to band practice. So I looked cool.

Samantha: It's a reading day not a cleaning day!

Brianna: so you can’t cook at all this weekend?
Corrine: Brianna I’m just not allowed to communicate with people electronically
Brianna: well some people communicate with food!

Jon: I could be dating you and you wouldn't even know it!
Candace: That would be called stalking...

Lauren: see it’s natural… like birth

Adam: Will you pass me the popcorn?
Corrine: no I’m eating it
 Adam: if you don’t pass it to me I’m gonna do the rumba face *pause* ok if you do pass it to me I’ll do my rumba face
Corrine: Ok here you go now do the face
Adam: I can’t just make love... I mean...

Scott: It’s not a date; consider it an outing of spiritual POWER!

Kimber:  what is gods elect?
Stephanie:  A big monster thing
Kimber: WHAT???
Stephanie: oh I thought you said Godzilla

“always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else"

"If your breathing, your alive. If you alive, your thankful your not dead. If your thankful your not dead, then your optimistic. If your optimistic, then your a good person. Then that means if your breathing, your a good person. I guess we all are good people."

"You know when you're making a puzzle, and every peice has it's place? Every person has their place. Only time when the puzzle gets hard is when people think they're too good to work with the rest."

"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

You don’t love someone because they are perfect. You love them in spite of the fact they are not.

Laughing is an exercise......its like jogging on the inside!

You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.

Abigail: Guess what!? Victoria’s secret has a sweat shop!
Brianna: Like where they sell only sweats?

Dr. Nelson: Statistics are like bikinis, what they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital

Brianna: I feel like I’m more tired then I feel

Abigail: You guys my light is retarded!
Brianna: Did it burn out?
Abigail: No, there was a big flash and then it went dim!

U of U Boys: Do you know where any bars are?
Brianna: I have three on my phone…

Abigail: Wait! What song are we singing?

When in Rome: Are you stalking me!?
No I’m just running into you in a premeditated manner.

Allen: Bonus Card, move two spaces.
Adam: Which way?

Mom: Why is the fridge making a weird noise?
Marissa: It’s probably the horney toad.

Erika: Corrine don’t do that you’ll attract Rapists!

Adam: If they don’t cough up blood in Disney movies they don’t grope!

Erika: Don't worry Corrine, I’m CPR certified… but it expired a year ago.

Joe: It’s Ama-Licky-a
Bri, Abigail, and Corrine: No it’s Amalickiah

(Speaking about my lumpy lasagna. Comforting me because I didn’t like the way it turned out)
Lauren: Relate it to the gospel would you go the straight or the lumpy path?
Me: Lauren it is called the straight and narrow!!

Lauren: Somebody’s blocking the sun.
Erika: It must be me.
Lauren: They must be pretty big.
Erika: What is that supposed to mean!?!?

Tammy: If other people are ignorant it gives you an excuse for being a jerk.

Corrine: I’m hot!
Brianna: Well I’m cold!
Corrine: Put a coat on
Brianna: take your clothes off…
Corrine: Ummm

Josh: Did you get your hair cut or is your hair just longer?

Brianna: Josh did you see when it hit you in the face?
Josh: Yeah I was there when it happened…

Corrine: Are you ok?
Gabby: *Sigh* yeah it’s just sometimes when I think I forget to breathe!
Corrine: …

Abigail: I hate Rihanna!
Brianna: You hate me!?

Abigail: I hope I get fifty-thousand grand…

Maya: Listen Butthead! (Music 101)

Corrine: We can get a bunch of people together and make a group!
Allen: A floating group?

Erika: Let's drown our sorrows in Kool-Aid and watch a movie where they blow stuff up and everyone dies.

Erika: Edward is not a vampire, he’s an elf.
Everyone: …

Joe: I just say lots of words…

Erika: I’m going to sleep outside so I’ll be locked out.
Corrine: Do you realize what you just said?

Stephanie: (Talking about clogging positions) It could be like the song, “Blonde on my right and brunette on my left” but neither of you is blonde or brunette…
Corrine: Ummm steph I’m a brunette.
Kimber: Me too!
Stephanie: Oh I guess I didn’t really know what it was…

Kimber: I just can’t remember the H word! (Studying for American Heritage)

Cambria: I’m so proud of my second paragraph. Let me read it to you again!

Erika: Aw! It’s so and wet. Oh gross it’s rootbeer. It’s not even condensation!

Abigail: Yeah and we can make A, B, C with our heads! (talking about pictures)

Abigail: Come here little chocolate! I want to eat you!!

Lauren: My head was filled with lead. It’s not fair!

Lauren: Wish with ALL your heart

Sunday Talk: Parents, the thing your children really want for dinner is you….

Lauren: Were you guys talking about fire hydrants?

Erika: kaikaikaikaikai!

Lauren: Who’s making that noise? (talking about a video)

Kimber: Hi! I’m Mattie and you’re Kimber. I mean you’re Mattie and I’m Kimber.

Brianna: I broke it!

Adam: Don’t play dumb with me Corrine!

Mally: You guys are cleaning studs.

Lauren: I’m so glad I don’t have normal roommates

Adam: Allen you did wear a dress
Allen: Wardrobe malfunction

Amanda: I like your floating pumpkin

Morgan: Dear me

Brianna: Stop talking and go get us food

Erika:  I’m going to bind you up like Nephi

Brianna: we were at sonic, we were at sonic, we were at sonic ... Entire story later ……
Morgan: wait, where were you?
Brianna: we were at sonic
Corrine: No that's wrong! You imagined the wrong story!

Todd: They’re so far in the closet, they found Narnia.

Corrine: Nothing is nothing a lot of the time

Movie night crew: It’s a geyser!

Brianna: Corrine do you have your key?
Corrine: no don’t you?

Brianna: how much is that doggie in the window?

Erika: You scum

Brianna: I haven’t seen this before, is it your pillow?

Stephanie: I love when I’m in this car cause then I’m big, black, and loud

Brianna: Nunca nunca nunca

Lauren: Erika is in the shower with Michael Buble

Erika: Don EVAH do thut uhgin

Austin G.: Adam you’re tiny

Lauren: OI its possessed

Brianna: trickle trickle trickle

Lauren: why is she still breathing

Morgan: I’m a facebook stalker. What can I say

Corrine: wait for it

Brianna: it better be aight

Morgan: it better be ite
Josh: its aight
Morgan: that’s what a se-ed

Morgan: I learn something new every time I come here

Erika: sorry I’ve been such a flake
Lauren: frosted?

Lauren: Im gonna come up with a comeback just give me a minute


Brianna: Make a pretty face
*picture taken*
Morgan and Corrine: that’s a pretty face?

Allen: do we need to start this movie again?

Corrine: I like these croutons.
Brianna: You like their coupons???

Morgan: Her backspace button goes really fast!
Josh: Yeah it’s serious!!

Colleen: He’s going to eat her… because he loves you!

Colleen: Come on I’m not the only facebook stalker!!!

Brianna: He likes vans, convertibles, snowballs, shiny ties, shoes, button up shirts, and dances. He's perfect for you!

Colleen: He's saying "I love you Corrine, are you there!?  Also Y M C A!!!"

Bridger: I like looking through peoples windows!

Morgan: … and then we *pause* Ewww gross! Is that a fish tree outside our window!?!?!?

Erika: (Talking about Princess and the Frog) Oh that’s a cute one! Well I haven’t seen it yet but it looks cute!

Amanda: Ayden She is cute!
Ayden: She’s my cousin

Bridger: It’s like Bridger with an R

Corrine: Imaginiff Erika was a house she would be...
Bridger: Mansion
Adam: An old shack in the woods

Steven: I should burn my Pearl of Great Price papers!
Brianna: I don’t think we should burn doctrine…

Corrine: We should do a jumping picture!
Brianna: Can’t we do it tomorrow?
Corrine: No we have to do it tonight while we are celebrating the fire!
Brianna: Did you really just say that!? That’s going on the quote… Document.

Joe: (Going in to get some mac and cheese) Wait where did it all go?
Abigail: (Looks at Joe, then her big bowl, and turns to walk away.)

Joe: (Proceeds to search the kitchen for mac and cheese)

Abigail: Hong Kong! Call from mom!

Brianna: Corrine’s a cheater!
Corrine: Am not!
Brianna: Am too!

Lauren: You’re supposed to giggle like the pilsbury guy!
Erika: Well you should have poked me in the front!
Lauren: I tried but I couldn’t get around!
Erika: What is THAT supposed to mean?!?

Lauren: I can get you while you are asleep…
Erika: Well I’ll lock my door so you can’t come in!
Corrine: Erika these doors don’t lock!
Erika: Well I’ll just lock myself outside so Lauren can’t scare me!

Kelly: This is my fourth roommate Jessica.
Jessica: Why do I have to be fourth?
Kelly: Because he met you last.
Nate: Well fourth is the biggest number…
Jessica: It’s not bigger than three! … I mean

Abigail: (Skyping with Joe) You make me so mad I just don’t even want to look at you anymore!
*Covers Videocam*
Abigail: Oh wait that covers me not you!

Abigail: I’m about to hit the tree with my rearview mirror.

Brittany: Don’t worry we will still love you even if you come home disabled.

Corrine: So you avoided him all day!?
Brittany: No just whenever I saw him…

Corrine: (Sarcastic) Yeah don’t you say Ama-Licky-a
Samantha: Yeah and A-moron

BreAnna: You’re tired. I’m right!
Corrine: Ok (Bossy)

Corrine: Looks at BreAnna
BreAnna: Can you hear that?
Corrine: Yes what is it?
BreAnna: Conference…
Corrine: Oh it sounded like a growl
BreAnna: A growl!? It’s the Mormon Tabernacle Choir…

Stephanie: Gurrl This got to be a gangsta note, you cant in-dent!!

Jeanie: Usually I don’t do homework on Sunday,  but it’s about marriage so it’s eternal…

Boone: (Papers fall to the ground) It’s an apostasy!

Brittany: We are in sheets and it’s snowing!

Anonymous They are only multidirectional if you put them on the other hand.

Tanner: All this wood makes me want to burn something

Jenny: My sister-in-law, she’s married…

Corrine: There’s a pen
Samantha: No it’s black
Corrine: That is black
Samantha: No the ink is black, well the pen is ink